And just maybe what’s unattractive is in the eye of the beholder as well.

Last week, as I was lying on the living room sofa watching television, my aged mother decided that it was time to express some opinions on my general appearance. First, she informed me that my father had never gone bald, and wasn’t it funny that I had gone bald. I, in the great tradition of American men with thinning hair, quibbled that I was not technically bald, but rather that my hair was merely thinning.

My aged mother then snorted derisively, and stated in no uncertain terms that I was bald, and then added that it made me look like a toad, and I should “Do Something About That.???

She then announced that she didn’t care much for that new beard I was growing. I asked if she meant the beard I’ve had since the age of 25. That new beard? And she commented that she didn’t like it much, and that it made me look like “A Dissipated Wino.???

Then she reached the issue that clearly bothered her the most. My feet. It appears that my feet are now “Too long and rude??? and that I must immediately “Do something about that.???

When I inquired as to what I could do about the length of my feet, perhaps have some cut off by a local butcher, she snorted again. Then she told me to take my horrible feet off the sofa, or I would “Spread disease everywhere.???