Wardrobe Issues
I am no longer master of my wardrobe.
Technically, I am no longer master of my socks. My athletic socks started to wear out at the end of last year. At first I thought that they had permanent stains on the toe and heels, but careful investigation revealed that these were not stains, but really, really thin patches in the socks where my skin was showing through. This is not always a bug. Sometimes it’s a feature. On New Years I went to a costume party as a French Revolutionary, and I didn’t have the right shoes, so I took one of my dilapidated pair of socks, tore out the toes and heels, and was now perfect to follow Napoleon over the Alps and invade Italy. (Although other party goers suggested that my socks were too clean to be believable.)
So I bought new althetic socks, and I made sure that the new socks were obviously different from the old socks. The old socks are all white, except for the toes and heels which, with my feet showing through, are a sort of cream color. The new socks are white with reinforced heels and toes that are made of grey fabric.
Well, it’s only been a couple of weeks now, and all the new socks seem to have disappeared. Now this is 24 pair of socks here, so it’s not like I’ve managed to misplace 3 or 4 new foot covers. We’re talking 2 dozen of the things.
I have the sinking suspicion that someone has put them in a safe place, and I will never see them again until some time in the distant future when, in the midst of a major home remodeling the contractor will punch through a wall with a sledgehammer and half a hundredweight of dusty, but still new, socks will spill forth.