Clothes Make the Man
I have a nodding acquaintance with a Korean banker at the gym.
I suppose I should explain that. I have a nodding acquaintance with a Korean banker in my aerobics class at the gym. Hmm… Let’s try that again.
1.) Ten years ago my then doctor told me that I needed to; change my diet, lower my cholesterol, and exercise more. If I did not do all these things then, “My head was going to blow off in a geyser of lard.” As he said this I remember wondering which medical school had taught him this turn of phrase, and this sort of bedside manner. So, there I was, one of the few middle aged, blatantly heterosexual males in my local aerobics class. The isolated nature of this position means that I always take notice upon the arrival of another guy in the class.
2.) So naturally I took notice when this middle aged Korean guy first appeared at the 6:30pm aerobics class, and he sure looked like a banker. He wasn’t wearing a pinstripe suit, but he did show up in an Oxford button down collar shirt and khaki slacks, which he then stripped off in the back of the room to reveal his 1960’s style gym togs.
Well, as time passed he stopped changing in the back of the class. He’d show up in his work out togs, and the nature of his wardrobe selections evolved over time. First he replaced his tiny ‘Jerry West’ style basketball shorts with some long, baggy, gangsta things. One day he showed up in what I’m sure were very expensive sneakers. They must have been, as they were appallingly ugly, and he kept wiping them off with a rag he kept in one of his pockets. A couple of months ago he started wearing sleeveless T-Shirts with black and white images of pitbulls on them. Then last month he showed up with a baseball cap on backwards.
I should add that whilst this does make him look different, it doesn’t really make him look any younger. It also doesn’t make him look like an African American, on the off chance that is what he was hoping to achieve. I think it all tends to make him look a bit silly, but then I don’t know what he thinks about my wardrobe, which is designed to be cheap rather than fashionable.
Oh, last week he showed up with a sort of goatee, and I think that when the music goes all edgy and urban he tries to enhance his moves with arm gestures that are designed to mimic gang signs. I really do wonder what he does for a living.