I suspect that it’s no great insight to claim that pets are a great deal like children. In at least as much as the proud ‘parent’ is firmly convinced of inherent intelligence and superiority. I know that my dog is a consistent under achiever at every new ‘Dog IQ’ test that comes down the pike. You know, ‘Cover his head with a blanket. Wait for him to escape. The faster he gets out, the smarter he is.’ The little white dust mop dog just sits there, and eventually I take off the blanket. This means that; 1.) He trusts me more than anything else in the world, or 2.) He’s absolutely brilliant, a veritable Leonardo Da Vinci of long range blanket planning, who insures his eventual escape by ‘managing’ my actions. Or maybe he really isn’t that bright.

During his stay in my home the Little White Dust Mop Dog has learned a variety of things.
1.) The TV is really a window onto the outside of the house. A window with a truly extraordinary view revealing Nature documentaries in; Africa, Hawaii, the Pacific Northwest, Alaska. Anywhere there are wild animals that need to be barked at.
2.) The Postman is a threat to national security, and must be barked at savagely whenever he trespasses on the front porch.
3.) The Pool Man is aldo a threat to national security, and must also be barked at savagely, until he takes off his straw hat, which is clearly the principle threat to America and our way of life.
4.) Standing in the middle of the living room, and barking at me while I make breakfast will facilitate preparation of the meal, and speed the arrival of his bread crust snack.

He has also learned to differentiate between ordinary rustling plastic bags, and the rustle of plastic bread bags, which equals the imminent arrival of toast, which equals the possibility of a bread crust snack.

It was only recently that I realized the Little White Dust Mop Dog has also learned the meaning of the bell on the microwave oven. No surprise there. It means completion of a ‘bachelor meal’ and the possibility of impending dog snacks. Well, yesterday I was on the phone while something was in the microwave. Cooking/heating finished, the bell went off, and the dog trotted off to the kitchen. However, I stayed in the living room talking on the phone.

When I didn’t stand up and walk to the kitchen, the dog came back to the living room, snorted at me a couple of times, and then walked back to the kitchen. When that didn’t appear to work, he came back, stood in the middle of the living room, and barked at me for a bit. When that didn’t work, he went back to the kitchen, and barked there for a bit. Eventually I finished the phone call, and went to the kitchen.

When I arrived the Little White Dust Mop Dog was not facing to the left of the sink, which is where the microwave is located, but towards some cupboards to the right of the sink. Immediately upon my arrival he began bumping the door to the bottom cupboard with his nose. Sometimes he does this with one of the other doors, the one at the other end of the kitchen counter right next to where I put the big bag of dog food, but this time it was the cupboard farthest away from the dog food and next to the sink.

I opened the cupboard, and there was the toaster. He barked at me once. So I took out the toaster, and made a piece of toast. Then I picked up my microwave lasagna, went back to the living room, sat watching TV and ate my lunch as I fed my dog the crust from his piece of toast whilst he sat next to me on the couch.

After lunch he jumped down from the couch and took a nap on the tile in the entryway, so he’d be there to ambush the postman when he arrived to drop off the day’s mail. Is that long term planning, or what. Boy that dog, he’s a management genius.

Comment RSS -