I don’t think that I work in Hollywood any more. My most recent Hollywood job was back in 1996. On that occasion, most of my time was spent in organizing computer files and keying in abstract numbers that controlled the facial expressions of a computer generated bottle stopper. Most would agree that when it’s been […]

I’m an independent contractor. This means that I have my own retirement program. I only make contributions when my accountant tells me to do so, and this means that I’m always opening new CD’s every April right around tax time. Because the bank is always offering different rates for different lengths of time, this means […]

Two months ago the back of my house fell off. Well, not exactly. It was the back of the patio awning. Actually, it wasn’t really the whole awning. It was the horrendously expensive, if you calculate my man-hours, plastic latticework holding up the decorative jasmine plant along the back of the patio roof. A certain […]

One of the advantages, I suppose that’s debatable, of living in LA is the TV. There are many stations, and some of them have very odd programming. Except for the cable cartoon channels I don’t think that any of them are deliberately trying to be odd. It just sort of happens. The less affluent PBS […]

I am no longer master of my wardrobe. Technically, I am no longer master of my socks. My athletic socks started to wear out at the end of last year. At first I thought that they had permanent stains on the toe and heels, but careful investigation revealed that these were not stains, but really, […]

So last Sunday night I fell asleep on the couch. When I woke up it was very late, and there was some sort of Infomercial playing in the TV. It was for a product named ‘Yoga Booty Ballet.’ One infers that this item uses yoga, to enhance and tone your booty, Umm… So that your […]

Not to get too legal here, but in an effort to conceal the identities of the participants, let’s say that the party of the first part (we’ll pretend that his name is Ian) works at an antique store. Well, it might be more accurate to say that he’s a starving actor with a day job […]

A programmer walks into the gym Tuesday. Once again, it is an apparently normal day. As usual he has been forced to arrive 30 minutes before his aerobics class in order to find a parking space. However, today there were many parking spaces. He now finds himself seated on the carpeted floor of the aerobics […]