Minister (After calling the deceased by two different wrong names) … And don’t forget to attend the wonderful reception back at the house. Programmer Hmm… Lady sitting in the pew next to the Programmer WONDERFUL ? Isn’t that setting the bar a little high? I mean, I’m gonna be kinda disappointed if they don’t have […]

When I was a boy my father never said “car.”  He always said “automobile.”  My father was older than most of my friend’s fathers, and he came from another country.  He never learned to say “car.”  At a certain point our family stopped buying sedans, and he learned the new term “station wagon.”  He never […]

Took my aged mother and ‘the fluffy little white dust mop dog’ for a car ride today. There are, apparently, too many red cars out on the road in Los Angeles. This is, apparently, my fault.  Because I have, apparently, not done enough to prevent my fellow motorists from making this poor choice of automobile […]

A programmer is drinking a diet coke. His aged mother looks up from her bowl of vanilla ice cream smothered in maple syrup. Aged Mother: You know, you look pretty good for your age. Programmer: Huh? Why thank you. Aged Mother: So how old are you now? Programmer: Umm, how old do you think? Aged […]

Programmers always have stories about end users and passwords. Mostly these center on the hilarious misunderstanding of the nature of passwords. Hilarious is a relative term, programmers tend to be pretty dull people. Every business has at least one employee who listens politely while the representative from I.T. explains about why everyone has their own […]

Maybe this only bothers me because I’m a programmer. For programmers, “It’s either a 0 or a 1.??? The lights are either on or off. Things are either right or wrong. Or perhaps it’s because I’m an only child. There are lots of editorials on the Internet that seem to blame people’s behavior on that […]

I suspect that it’s no great insight to claim that pets are a great deal like children. In at least as much as the proud ‘parent’ is firmly convinced of inherent intelligence and superiority. I know that my dog is a consistent under achiever at every new ‘Dog IQ’ test that comes down the pike. […]

And just maybe what’s unattractive is in the eye of the beholder as well. Last week, as I was lying on the living room sofa watching television, my aged mother decided that it was time to express some opinions on my general appearance. First, she informed me that my father had never gone bald, and […]

Yes, that’s right. My dog hates flamingos. Previous posts have chronicled all the other animals on the TV that raise the ire of the ‘Little White Dust Mop Dog,’ but now we must add flamingos to the list of video screen creatures from which the home must be defended. Yesterday there was a car commercial […]

Last Thursday it was very windy in L.A. Depending upon which news program one watches this meant that between 73,000 and 125,000 people were without electricity and thus unable to microwave their lunches. Fortunately, power was returned for most Angelinos before dark. As I watched television the following day my aged mother turned to me […]